Have you ever felt trapped? Trapped in a situation of your own making, which by social standards is actually quite comfortable. Nice things, nice life, but oh so trapped. I remember that feeling and that moment when the power shifted and I no longer felt that way. You never forget this feeling when you’ve been in that situation.
I clearly remember the day it all changed. It was such an ego boost and I’ll admit, I ran with it, and in turn restoring my self belief, my worth, my everything, me.
But why did I need restoring? Well, I fell into the trap that many do, losing oneself in a relationship rather than growing oneself and the relationship. As I was clawing my way back to me I’ll never forget an old friend saying “You’re back to the vibrant personality I knew in our early 20’s.” That was an indication to me that I was on the right path.
If you’d asked me back then what I was doing to regain that self belief, that self worth, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. It’s only now that I can see the steps that I took that got me to that point.
While I didn’t have self worth and self belief in me personally during that time, I did have belief in my professional skills, I had done my time as they say and was super confident in what I could bring to the world. I’d built that confidence and know how over many years in my own business, learning, doing, learning, doing, but the financial rewards weren’t there as much as I was investing in my knowledge at the same time. I look back now and know why I focused on that, that was what brought me joy and I had confidence in. That confidence helped me land a great corporate job working remotely, getting paid very well. Finally, I was respected for my know how and being paid handsomely for it. And, I was the highest $ earner in our family unit. The tides did indeed turn.
Prior to that I was controlled in my relationship through money. I felt like an employee who had to plead their case ever time they wanted to buy something. The endless questions about what I spent money on and why. No trust, no judgement, no nothing. Except of course when it came to crunching numbers on an investment, after all that was my profession. No wonder I focused on my career…… Was I a victim? No. I let that happen. I didn’t respect me in the relationship.
Lets face it, money makes the world go around. If you don’t have it, it sucks, if someone else is controlling you with it, that’s even worse. And for some, money is power and they wield that power. If you are creating your own money through a business, job or whatever that brings with it a feeling of worth, and that is the secret to it. Being able to provide for yourself and/or your family brings with a sense of accomplishment, a “I can do this!!!” without needing to rely on someone else. That’s what helps build your self worth. Is it the only factor? No, but it’s what I started with and what I see lacking in so many women out there. Starting with that and getting too financial independence is what everyone should strive for, male or female. No one should ever feel controlled in a relationship. For me it was money for others it’s other things. But money allows choices, choices are freedom and freedom allows you to live your life by your design.
Being controlled by money shut me down emotionally, I can see that now. And obviously that’s not great for a marriage, but hey nor is the controlling… Anyways, financial independence brought back my personal self confidence. And it never faltered, even when I quit the job to try and save the marriage. The marriage didn’t work out and I was left without a job, but that self confidence I had developed during my employment kicked in and helped me to devise a plan to get out of the marriage and on my path to financial independence. I won’t lie, it was tricky. I was able get my hands on a lump sum and I had six months to be gainfully employed before it ran out. Sounds easy right? Nope, when you don’t have a job its way harder to get one. Which is why the first one that I was offered I took even though I knew it wasn’t right for me. 2 months later I was in my dream job, and 12 months later settling on my first house purchased solo. Woohoo!!! And that emotional shut down is no more, I’m feeling the feels and I can now see what was missing for me, what it took to get me back, find my sparkle and be the real me.
Why Independent Money Chick?
I don’t want others to feel trapped like I was, or if they do, discover tools and knowledge as to how they can make that power shift and restore self worth, and live life like they want to.
I’m not a financial advisor, but I am an accountant. I’ve advised businesses for years. And my approach to money is simple. Treat it like a business. The purpose of a business is to make a profit and create a saleable asset. If we apply that to our personal money, our profit is our savings. Our saleable asset is ourself and how much money we can generate using our skills and knowledge. Our balance sheet is our statement of wealth, how we are investing the savings.
What underpins a successful business? Measurement, and management of the numbers. Exactly what we need to do as individuals to gain financial independence.
Who Am I?
I’m Alycia Edgar, a 40 something chick, mum of 2 teens, navigating life post divorce. I love my life and I love what I’m setting out to achieve. My dream is to help as many women as I can feel empowered with money and their life.
Want to come along for the ride? Promises to be fun. 😉